> sad life
hello. this is chelly. i have a sad life. please listen to my sad story and you will agree that my life is very sad.
i have a safe deposit box in my room. it is very safe and is stuck to the wall so burglars cannot carry it away. it also happens to be hidden in my sister's cupboard, so that burglars will be deterred by her smelly clothes. also, if some terrorist decides to blast my safe deposit box out of the wall, the big hole will be in her cupboard and not mine. so you see, i do my research and planning very well. anyway, this safe deposit box has a key and i used to hide it in a pair of track pants in my cupboard. in this way, burglars would have to rummage through my cupboard, and be overcome by the nice smell-ness of it, before braving the smelliness of my sister's cupboard. this'd make the smelliness of my sister's cupboard all the more overwhelming. defeating crooks is all about playing games with the mind.
ANYWAY. the key stayed in its great hiding place until my korea trip last year, where i had to bring my track pants to. so i took the key out and changed its hiding place. being the meticulous planner i am, i carefully considered all the possible places to hide the key [eg. in a toiletroll, in my toothbursh cup, in socks, etcetc] and whether a desperate robber would have the brains to look there. obviously, my brain was too powderful at that moment in time, because
i hid my key too well and can't find it now.i'm like, WOW. GREAT JOB, CHELLY. YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SWALLOWED THE KEY, SINCE IT'D AT LEAST COME OUT IN THE TOILETBOWL.
..well, that'd be true unless the key got stuck in my gut. then that'd be an entirely different story. i can imagine the doctor scrutinising an x-ray with a mysterious key-shaped object lodged in my intestines --> doc:
what's that? me:
erm.. a key? doc:
man, was it a freak accident?! *concerned* me:
no, i was trying to hide the key from burglars..my friend suggested blowing the damn thing up to open it.. but then i'd end up with a hole in my wall. and my money would burn up. wouldn't it be better still if my house burnt down too, and amidst the smouldering rubble i catch sight of my safety deposit box still intact and
LOCKED. omg, the first allele for insanity must have popped up from a situation like that.
ok enough about that. i'm also very sad that adult salespeople and now, even stupid donation-asking people IGNORE students in school uniform. they must either think we're: 1. pennyless/penniless [aha that word makes me laugh =x] 2. cold-hearted dogs 3. invisible. i wish it were the 3rd, but then i wouldn't have been caught for not tying my hair up by F** [man, that looks like a bad word *cough*] if it were. how sad. i was so pissed the other day when i was blatantly ignored by these 2 donation-asking poops in the underpass who hurriedly rushed to ALL the adults walking by. i was deliberately walking slowly somemore! i was tempted to walk back and forth that underpass until they came to ask me for donations too..
i was going to STAND UP for all uniform-wearing students ok! show them that we aren't PENNILESS [aha..] dogs. so there i would be, either: 1. making a great and wonderful point or..
2. getting arrested by the police for harrassment. which would defeat the whole purpose. since it'd prove that students aren't only dogs, but STUPID dogs. how sad.
oh today i was locked out again. out of my house this time. so as i sat there waiting for my maid to come back and open the door [since i don't have keys to my own house .-.] i was looking at the grass in my front garden. it was the strangest thing but
I WAS OVERCOME WITH THIS DESIRE TO EAT THE GRASS.i think it was cos the grass looked so green and thick and long.. doesn't it make you wonder whether it'd taste juicy? so i was kinda sad that i couldn't eat the grass.. like why couldn't we have lots of stomachs like cows so we could eat the grass in our gardens when it got long? apart from the whole cud-chewing thing [re-chewing food coming up from your various stomachs is way un-cool. unless
YOU ARE A COW.] it'd be pretty cool to be able to just get down on the ground and start eating grass when you're hungry.. then maybe different grass would taste different.. wow..
now don't you feel sad you can't eat grass too?
[ETA] i forgot to mention that i
have climbed over the gate of my house before. worse still, i was climbing
OUT of my house in
school uniform. oh man, i must have looked as if i was damn desperate to get to school. like hello,
school of all places.. how gross is that?! o_O [/edit]
* chelly .
